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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Une charmante jeune femme d’à peine 18 ans descend de sa chambre, prête à sortir pour un rendez-vous galant. Portant un haut transparent, sa grand-mère la fixe et lui interdit de sortir vêtue de cette façon !                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   « Relax grand-maman » lui dit-elle, « on n’est plus dans ton temps. Aujourd’hui, c’est à la mode de montrer ses boutons de rose » !                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Tous seins dehors, elle sort, laissant sa grand-mère éberluée.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Le lendemain, la jeune femme organise une soirée et des amis viennent lui rendre visite.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Alors qu’elle descend dans le salon pour les accueillir, elle voit sa grand-mère… sans haut, les seins à l’air.                                                                                                                                                                                                         Outrée, elle lui explique que ses amis vont bientôt arriver et que ça ne se fait pas de les accueillir comme ça !                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Sa Sa grand-mère lui lance un regard doucereux et elle lui répond alors :                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   «                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    «                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          « Relax, ma chérie ... Si toi, tu as le droit de montrer tes boutons de rose, moi je peux bien faire prendre l’air à mes pots de fleurs » !

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Papy s’est fait faire une ordonnance de Viagra par son médecin. Mais comme il connaît tout le monde dans l’unique pharmacie du coin, il a honte d’aller le chercher lui-même et il dit à son petit-fils :                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               – Si tu vas me chercher ce médicament, je mettrai cinq euros sous ton oreiller cette nuit. Mais tu ne dis surtout pas que c’est pour moi. Le gosse fonce à la pharmacie et ramène le Viagra.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Le lendemain matin, il regarde sous son oreiller et trouve vingt euros. Comme il est honnête, il va voir son grand-père :
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 – Papy, tu t’es trompé. Tu m’avais promis cinq euros et tu en as mis vingt.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      – Non, mon petit, je ne me suis pas trompé, je t’ai bien donné cinq euros. Les quinze autres, c’est Mamie !

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Trois hommes sont en excursion. Ils progressent depuis plusieurs jours quand, soudainement, ils tombent sur une rivière déchaînée  ! Comment résussir à la traverser  ?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Le premier pria Dieu, en disant :
– Mon Dieu, donnes-moi la force de traverser la rivière.
POUF !
Dieu lui donne un corps d’athlète, puissant, souple. Il plonge et réussit à la traverser en une heure. A deux reprises, il a failli se noyer.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Le deuxième homme s’agenouille et demande aussi l’aide au Seigneur.
POUF !
En ouvrant les yeux, il voit une chaloupe, dans le sous-bois, avec des avirons. Il l’a pousse à l’eau et il réussit à franchir la rivière. Non sans avoir été obligé d’écoper à plusieurs reprises.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Le troisième homme, s’agenouille lui aussi.
– Mon Dieu, donne-moi la force, les outils et l’intelligence nécessaire pour traverser la rivière.
POUF !
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Dieu le change en femme. Elle fouille dans son sac, sort la carte et marche environ 200 mètres pour traverser sur le pont.

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Ah ! Ces banquiers : tellement matérialistes ...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Devant sa banque, un trader gare sa Porsche flambant neuve, histoire de frimer devant ses collègues.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Au moment où il commence à sortir de sa voiture, un camion arrive à toute allure et passe si près qu’il arrache la portière de la Porsche puis disparaît aussi vite.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Le trader se rue sur son portable et appelle la police. Cinq minutes après les flics sont là. Avant même qu’un des policiers n’ait pu poser la moindre question, le trader commence à hurler :  - « Ma superbe Porsche turbo est foutue. Quoi que fassent les carrossiers, ce ne sera plus jamais la même ! Elle est foutue, elle est foutue ! »                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Quand il semble avoir enfin fini sa crise, le policier hoche la tête avec dégoût et dit : - « C’est absolument incroyable à quel point, vous autres banquiers, vous êtes matérialistes ! Vous êtes si concentrés sur vos biens que vous ne pensez à rien d’autre dans la vie»!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             –«Comment pouvez-vous dire une chose pareille à un moment pareil»? sanglote alors le propriétaire de la Porsche.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Le policier répond : –«Vous n’avez même pas conscience que votre avant-bras gauche a été arraché quand le camion vous a heurté. »                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Le Le banquier regarde son bras avec horreur et hurle  : « Oh ! Putain, ma Rolex ! »

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